To Take Apart a Clock

delicately,
lay the clock across the desk

slowly,
remove each spring and screw

gently,
separate the tiny pieces

until the hands stop sliding
and the time stops.

the hours
sleep
the minutes
breathe
the seconds
almost
smile.

nothing to keep track of,
I fell into a dream
of the possibility
of stillness,
quiet,
peace.

no more concerns or responsibilities
or feelings of inadequacy
the world would stop,
I thought
if i did.

but car wheels rolled
and papers shuffled,
people danced and laughed and cried
in bliss and grief and love.

and looking in the glass
awhile
I saw myself
taken apart,
too
and wondered if I
wanted
to be
fixed.